Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Beginning of the End of my Trauma

Remember that line at the end of Aladdin, when Jafar turns into a genie?

"The power. The absolute power. The universe is mine to command, to control!"

That's how I feel today. Maybe not the whole universe, but I absolutely can do anything and everything I want to do. I understand how I'm thinking and why I'm thinking that way and what to do about it. Awesome.

The best result is that I know how I'm going to get past the trauma and I am 200% confident that it will work. I will be past this phase of my life and moving on to bigger and better things within a few short months.

Curious about what's changed?

I went to a seminar this weekend.

Did your brain just click off? You might be thinking, "Oh, well I'm glad for you and that's cool and I have no interest in doing anything like that so I'll just stop reading now."

I suggest you keep reading just a little longer.

I went to a seminar called The Power of Choice. I heard about it first when Chris's cousin Janneke posted about it on her blog, then I heard a lot more from his aunt Karen. Both of them have dealt with difficult life situations and I can see dramatic changes in them even just in short conversations. I was interested enough in seeing their change, knowing just a few of the things they were dealing with and how happy they've become since going to this class. I took it on faith and went.

I was highly skeptical when I first got there. To be honest, I had a bit of a panic attack just walking into the building. There were too many people there, I didn't know what was going to happen, and I knew I wasn't in a stable emotional state because of the trauma. I was nervous that I would be thrown so far out of my comfort zone that I would lose control like I have in times past when faced my with trauma and depression.

Luckily, I was there with Chris, and his parents, and his grandparents, and his aunt, and his cousin, and two of his uncles, and his uncle's friend. All told, there were 11 in our group. I was in good company. At the very least, it kept me in the room (after a quick breather in the parking lot).

The seminar lasted over three days, a total of 22 hours. After the first day, I knew that my life was going to be completely different, though I wasn't sure how that was going to happen. After the second day, I was different. After all three days, I know how I am going to get through my trauma, how I am going to be the mom I was always meant to be, and that I will achieve all the dreams I have for myself, my marriage, and my family. Not just that I can achieve them--

I will achieve them.

The purpose of the seminar is to change the world, and that's exactly what it does, one person at a time. Basically, I'm really, really, really glad I went.

The skills they teach are all based around the "Choice Process." First you identify what thing in your life you want to change. Then you identify WHY that has happened in your life--you find the negative belief about yourself that has driven your emotions and actions and produced those results that you don't want. Cool, now we understand. Keep going.

Once you have that negative belief, you figure out why you keep doing it. And you make a new belief. And--this is probably the single most important step--then you do something about it. Immediately. Right now. No time to forget or talk yourself out of it and fall back into all the old habits of thinking.

You know this stuff already, yes. Power of positive thinking, right? Wrong. It's so much more than that. It's structured in a way that really makes sense and makes it possible. It's empowering.

Just for an example, I will walk you through the basic outline of one of my choice processes.

Once I decided I was really going to participate in the seminar (not just show up), I determined that I should jump in head first and do it for real. Put it to the test and let it work if it was true or let it fail if it was wrong. So, in my very first choice process, the result in my life that I wanted to change was that I do not want to be traumatized by my birth experiences. Talk about diving straight in to the core of all my heartache. If this could be fixed, holy cow, this stuff works. If.

By using the choice process, I came to understand that my negative belief is that I am worthless. You can argue with me all you want and tell me that I'm a great person, but that's what I believed and that's what I was constantly telling myself subconsciously. That belief is the reason that I could not process my birth experiences in a healthy way. While I did not have any control in experiencing postpartum depression after Ben was born, this belief sharply accentuated those feelings and certainly played into my developing PTSD.


Still using the choice process, I came to understand how damaging this thought really is. That ultimately, if I hold on to this thought too hard, my kids will end up dead. Sounds extreme, huh? It's true. If that's not motivation for change, I don't know what is.

Using the choice process, I have a new belief:

I am irreplaceable.

There are moments when someone else can take care of my children better than I can, but I am still their one and only mother. I could disappear and Chris could remarry, but he could never replace me. God will always be sure that His purposes will be fulfilled, but no one can fulfill the purposes He has for me as well as I can. And oh my goodness, I know it. No doubt in my mind.

There are many different tools that are taught through the course of the seminar that are useful. Again, it's nothing brand new. The information has been out there for a long time. But it has been put into a format that absolutely resonated with me and makes so, so, so much sense. For Chris, too. And Craig and Janet. And Larry. And Phil. And Cindy and Tom and Stephanie. This is seriously good stuff, people.

My point? I think you should go. Yes, you. Not even kidding.

Here's the quick info:

Power of Choice costs $495 for the three days. But lucky you, you know me!! Because I just completed the course, I can get you a golden ticket so you can take the course for $100--that's an 80% discount. Suh-weet.

The catch is that the discount only lasts until this Thursday, March 29th. After that, you can most definitely still sign up, but it will be at the regular rate.

I feel like I need to pause here and let you know that everything I learned from this class served to reinforce the principles of the gospel and give me the tools to follow Christ in the ways that will be lasting and productive for me and my family. The program is not at all affiliated with the LDS church, but it is based on sound principles and practices. Tools. It's all about having the tools to be able to live the truth that you already know, and to rediscover and live the truths about yourself that you have forgotten.

It's all about  Passion




It's all about Choice. Take control of your life, any part. Is there anything at all in your life that you would like to change? If you have any “stuck places” in your life, unwanted results, relationships you want to improve, have been unable to make the progress you want towards your goals, or just want to create more fulfillment in your life and learn exactly how to create all you want in life, this seminar is for you. Yes, you. Raise up your right hand. Now point at your chest. See that person you're pointing at? That's the person that needs this seminar.

The next class is April 19-21. Thursday and Friday run 4:00-10:00 pm, Saturday is 9:00 am to 7:00 pm. Absolutely worth the time and the money. Absolutely. If you're on the fence, there is a  free mini-class this week that introduces the choice process and gives a glimpse into what the seminar is like. That class is Thursday, March 29, 6:00-8:00 pm at 8700 S 450 W #C. Chris and I will be there for another class at the same time if you want to carpool or meet us there. ;)

Please, please, please talk to me about this. Leave me a comment, email me, call me, text me, Facebook me, whatever. If the money is a concern, please talk to me anyway. Imagine that obstacle was gone--how would you feel about it? Make your decision based on that feeling, not the money. Talk to me!! I want this to work for you, too. I want you to have the feeling that I have now. The power I have to get out of my own way and truly let the gospel work in my life. Talk to me.

More information is available at I particularly recommend reading testimonials found on the "Results" tab. I can also email you the registration form for the seminar and a ticket with more information about the mini class if you're interested.


Ruby in the Rough said...

I totally need this. I would even fly to Utah to take it. I have some poisonous subconscious thoughts that I sometimes recognize. Thanks for the info.

Brenda said...

I'm going to go. :)

Aimee Brunson said...

I have been to several similiar workshops. It never ceases to amaze how destructive and WRONG our own thoughts can be.
So happy to hear that you have found power in yourself.

Janneke said...

Wowwee wow wow. I'm over the moon happy for you Laura!!!! You are going to rock and I'm so happy to have just one more person to share this journey with. Thank you for also being an inspiration. I am excited to watch your transformation. Love ya! You ARE irreplaceable.

Tannie Datwyler said...

That sounds amazing - I can't believe they do it for only $100 if you know someone who went! That's amazing. Too bad it's in Utah and we have no intention of going there... sigh. Just another reason to be mad about moving to Idaho.

Hey - I wanted to tell you that I commented on all the posts you made below. I haven't really been online for about 1 1/2 weeks. I was out of town (as you know), then I spent a few days with my sister, then I got sick and laid on the couch for 3 days, and then I tried to catch up over the weekend (just being a mom - forget the computer) and then yesterday I got a crown. SO... life has been fun. But that put me behind on blogs.

I loved your posts though and had to comment. I thought I'd tell you though because I stop checking comments on later posts after a while.