Psycho Prego

I have weird dreams.

Always have had. It used to be a favorite past-time of my high school journalism class to try to interpret the deeper meanings of Laura's latest dreamland adventure. Though making up for infrequency with grand detail, they did only come every couple of weeks.

Until now.

You know how pregnant women are notorious for forgetting all kinds of things? Like your brain just isn't quite all there during those nine months? Chris says that my brain has no space for anything useful while I'm pregnant because it's completely full of the useLESS details of every night's full-blown dream saga. I tell you, if I was a producer, some of these would have serious movie potential.

Now that I've set myself up for such grand storytelling, I'm not actually going to share the true detail of my dreams. That would take me hours. Just ask Chris--he has to hear most of them, and I even hold back while I'm telling him. But, there is a certain interest factor to me to see the trend my dreams take and whether or not they seem related to each other, my life, or really anything logical in the waking world.


To name a few (emphasis on few):

I was kidnapped (by Pierce Brosnan) and was hauled around town through several towns. We stopped at some party when I saw my chance, and I ran. I ultimately escaped by hiding on an ostrich farm.

I was hired to work at Walmart. Annoyed with my trainer, I took off my shoe and threw it in her face.

My sister Amy changed her phone number and told everyone but me. That's significant because she has my old phone--her number was mine for quite a while before it was hers. And that's just rude.

I was being chased by unknown bad guys through a multi-story toy store. I hid behind various displays, but every time they found me and I had to run again. I've never seen a toy store with so many staircases that went nowhere.

I was witness to two murders. When I went to my mom in a panic to ask her for help, she responded that she knew exactly what to do. We went into the murderer's house and proceeded to steal all of the small kitchen appliances.

Chris was attempting to rescue me from the latest chasers when his car was deemed unworthy. They laid a trap...he drove over a net of orange extension cords and they just picked his car up so he couldn't drive anymore. That's what you get, apparently, for driving a Geo Metro.

I was being chased (again) through a restaurant. I somehow gained super-human strength and managed to pick up and throw every chaser off the balcony. Talk about muscles.


Oh, geez. Who dreams like that?

The biggest thing I've noticed in my dreams is that I never have kids...and I get chased a lot. I have also noticed the smells. Can you smell in your dreams? For example, the grass outside the Walmart where I temporarily worked had the most delightful freshly-cut aroma that was quite refreshing when everything was actually covered in half a foot of snow. Also, that murderer? Oh. My. Goodness. If only I could eat the spaghetti cooking at his house. Ah. All my pregnancy cravings would be permanently satisfied.

What are your dreams like?

Our State of Electronics

This has been an expensive month at our house...

Because my husband loves me (and maybe because he felt guilty over the recently acquired compound miter saw and Remington 22 rifle), Chris bought me a brand new laptop.


I've been using the desktop computer I bought when I moved to Logan for my second year of college six and a half years ago. It is sloooooooow. I often use Chris's laptop, but that can be problematic if I want to download something or if it interferes with his programming. Now I finally have my own laptop to do with as I please. Yay!

Our tv died last week. Like, dead dead. We were watching a movie when all the sudden there was a loud POP and it shut off, never to be viewed or heard again. Here it is, awaiting its ride to the tv graveyard.


Man, that thing was huge. The manufacturer sticker on the back indicates that it was made in January of 1997. That's older than my brother. I guess this tv had a pretty good run.

I went to Logan last Saturday for Tannie's annual girl party--HOORAY! You have no idea how desperately I needed that time to talk with no men and no small children in sight. While I was gone, Christopher acquired this replacement:


I mean the tv, not Jane. She's been around for a while now. And yes, she's wearing my coat. She said she was cold.


The true bonus to the tv was that Chris wanted it to look particularly impressive when I came home (at 2:15 in the morning--talk about killer getting up for 9:00 church the next day...). To make sure the tv got its due, Chris cleaned the house. EVERYTHING. He did the dishes, washed the laundry, vacuumed, swept, hung curtains, reorganized cupboards, put away still homeless Christmas presents, he even gave the girls a bath...man, I got lucky when I married him.

So, new laptop. New tv. Soon-to-be new PS3 to replace the one with the faulty disc drive. Deep breath. That's a lot of new electronics that come with a hefty price tag. To balance it out, we just had to acquire dozens of old VHS tapes--archaic and free.


My parents are continually replacing VHS with dvds and now dvds with blu-ray. Pretty much, they don't want VHS anymore. Motivation also comes in the form of no longer owning a VCR... So, we collected all the siblings (all seven of us...well, minus Sarah, I think) and started divying out the tapes to those who still own a VCR (four of us).


Ah, good times. The videos can be seen, while early in the process, on the top and bottom shelves of the above picture. It was quite the adventure, taking turns while still racing to get the good ones first. And then still getting stuck with some weird ones, like Kung Pow. Sigh. At least my girls are still cute when they watch movies together.

So much for weight loss...

If you are interested in pregnancy details, read on.
If you're not...this post isn't for you.

When are you due?

July 28--my aunt's birthday and my best-friends-when-we-were-twelve Leslie's birthday. I am currently 12 weeks and a little bit. I've suspected since probably week 2--ugh--but we "officially" found out on Thanksgiving Day. Add that to my 2010 "Year in Small Review" list for November.

Have you been sick?

Not at all like the last two times! With Jane, I threw up two or three times a week. With Megan, I threw up two or three times a day. This time, I have thrown up once. Ever. And that particular day I had actually caught a nasty stomach bug, so I blame that more than being pregnant. So not the same! I still haven't felt amazingly well, of course, but it's been easy compared to times previous.

Other non-vomiting issues, though...I already have infection issues that I dealt with during my last pregnancy--yuck yuck yuck. I was really hoping to avoid that this time. Also, I passed out at the temple in front of probably 60 people who were all looking right at me at the time. Yeah, that ranks up in my top four most embarrassing moments, including the time the janitor walked in on me pumping, the time I accidentally evacuated the entire elementary school, and the time that I have never told anyone about ever, including my husband, so don't even ask.

Any inklings on gender?

For the reasons stated above, I'm leaning toward boy just because it's been so drastically different than both girls were. And yes, I've been hoping for a boy since before we ever got pregnant with Jane, so... ...but it could all still be wishful thinking. Either way, I get to have a baby and that makes me smile.

Cravings or aversions?

I can't eat chicken. Oh, gross. Unless it's fried chicken from a restaurant. I have eaten a lot of Coca Puffs. Mostly I like to eat anything fast food that I can get right now that I don't have to cook myself, much to the disappointment of my husband and the detriment of my bank account.

What do the girls think?

I tried to explain it to Jane a few different times, but she really wasn't getting the idea until I went to my first appointment (on 1-11-11...I thought that I was fun). I was telling her that Britta was going to stay home with her and Megan so I could go to the doctor. She wanted to know why I was going to the doctor, so I told her they were going to check to make sure the baby was ok.

When Chris and I walked in the door after the appointment, Jane just kind of looked at us for a minute. Then she said, "I thought you were getting a baby. Where's the baby?" She was actually rather irritated for a while that we didn't have a baby with us. Ha. It took several more conversations before she understood that the baby is still in Mom's tummy and will stay there until it's ready to come out. Still, she asks me several times a day if the baby is awake and ready to come out yet. She's convinced it's just sleeping and will come out as soon as its nap is over.

Oh, well. She'll get it eventually. And Megan is, big surprise, oblivious.

And the question you're probably wondering about the most...

Was this planned?

Well...yes and no. Chris and I both wanted to wait for a few more years before having more kids. That changed, however, the more I went to the temple. Every time I went I kept feeling like it was already time to have another baby, despite how unappealing that sounded. It took Chris a while longer to agree with me, but eventually he had the same idea. So, we followed the prompting and the rest is history.

So yes, we got pregnant on purpose. But no, we weren't exactly expecting it right now, if that makes sense. There will certainly be moments of adjustment, but we're still excited. And it will be nice to have all our kids close in age so they can really grow up together. And it will be nice for us because we'll deal with the same kind of issues at the same time. And, let's be honest, it'll be nice when they all grow up and move out within just a few years of each other and we'll have our house to ourselves.

I think that about covers it.
Did I miss anything?

Did I forget to mention?

I'm pregnant.
Congratulations, it's a peanut.

Kudos to those who caught my hint yesterday.
And yes, there is only one baby.

I always like to hear details on other people's pregnancies, so I'm planning a post with my own since I think it's fun to talk about. So--ask away. What do you want to know?

In the Club

So...we bought a minivan.


2002 Honda Odyssey. And quite the adventure it was...

This van comes in as the fourth vehicle that Chris and I have purchased in our 4 and a quarter years of marriage. We first bought the Ford Taurus after my Probe died five days before we got married. We traded that in for the Geo Metro from my mom and bought the Mountaineer at the same time. During all of those purchases, we lived in Logan and drove to Salt Lake to buy the cars.

Now we live in Salt Lake. So what do we do this time? We drive to Logan to buy a car. In a snowstorm.


Anybody remember that snowstorm that happened the week between Christmas and New Year's? Yeah, it took us three hours to drive to Logan, a drive that usually takes an hour and a half max. What can I say. It makes a better story? We even had to pull off a time or two because the wiper blades were completely encased in ice and lost all functionality.

This was our first view of the van. There were no camera issues--it's blurry because I was shivering so much when I took the picture. It was cold.


It was a bit of a gamble to buy this particular van. It was pretty dirty, and it had been smoked in. Not the worst that I have ever smelled, but still. In the end, we did buy it anyway. We took it to a detail shop for the full package. They got it super clean and "ozoned" it--ran ozone through all the heating system and vents and such to get the smell out. Thankfully, it worked.

Now we have a lovely van!

Note the green leather interior. That was a pretty big selling point for me. Character.

I confess: I'm not 100% thrilled about being a minivan owner/driver. It kind of makes me feel old. It has come in quite handy, though, this last week. Britta and her two daughters, Emmaline and Lottie, are visiting us from Missouri before they ship out next week to Guam, where Britta's husband Matt is being stationed with the Air Force. Three years is a long time, so we had to get some playtime in before they disappear.


Shout-out to my brother Michael: I saw this sign at the airport when we went to pick up Britta.


Michael was part of the middle school class that created this entire campaign--Turn your Key, Be Idle Free. It made it into Utah State legislation (I think), they won an award from Disney, and they were even featured in People Magazine. I thought it was cool to see his sign at the International Airport.

And here is a picture of me the whole second time I ever drove the van.


We had some serious errands to run on Monday that kept us in the van for a long time. It was very convenient to have one vehicle that fit everyone.


We stopped at IHOP for lunch. That was very convenient, too.



Then we started another long drive home. The van makes for good napping territory, too.


So, driving a minivan isn't all bad. I guess we do get to join the minivan owners' club. We can be like all the other cute little Mormon families in the Salt Lake valley. All we need now is five of those little vinyl stick figures to put in the back window.

Princess Jane

Audrey Jane is 3!

Jane's birthday was last Friday. Saturday was her party. Her party request for this year was "Pink Princesses"...easy enough. She invited three friends because she turned 3: Claire, who came all the way from Logan, Emmaline, who came all the way from Missouri, and Sara, who came all the way from around the corner.


Sara was the only one lucky enough to get a bonafide invitation. This will actually be the first post of a new Paper Crafting Blog I am feeling brave enough to start in the next week or so...keep an eye out for that if you're brave enough to read it.

The party started out with dancing while we waited for everyone to arrive. I was pleased that all the girls were able to wear pink.


First official item of Princess Business: Crowns.

Each girl was able to decorate her own tiara that she could wear for the rest of the party. Cute!

Once everyone's head was properly adorned, the princesses all set out on the Treasure Hunt.

Picture clues led the girls from room to room...

Note the tricycle.
That was Jane's present from Mom and Dad that we gave her at the family party on Friday night.

...until they finally found the hidden treasure:

more princess clothes!

Everyone had their own skirt, shoes, and necklaces to go with their new crowns.

And what is a party without cake and candles?

Apparently, if you ask Jane, it's a better party without cake and candles. Such a sad face.

At least Megan and Lottie were excited.

Let the gift opening commence!


Thank you to Claire and Tannie for the Belle barbie doll, Sara for the singing princess shoes, and Emmaline for the beautiful butterfly picture.


The party wrapped up nicely with all the girls playing with Jane's new princess puzzles.


All in all, I thought it went very well. Hooray for birthdays and hooray for small parenting/party successes.

Happy Birthday, Jane!

One Resolution

This is one of five new posts...I don't usually do that, but December wasn't a strong blogging month for me. You may want to catch up on those. I think you'll have to click "Older Posts" at the bottom of the page to see them all.

Let's start the New Year with some laughs...

I post these funny things Jane says on Facebook all the time, but I want a more permanent record. If you've already seen them, keep reading because I've added some that I haven't posted before.
Be excited.

Mom: Jane, do you want to watch Beauty and the Beast or Aladdin while I make dinner?
Jane: I don't want to watch a movie.
Mom: Ok. Megan, what movie do you want to watch?
Jane: Megan wants to watch Aladdin.

We hear a knock at the door. Not knowing who it is, Jane says, "Somebody's here! Somebody's here! Oooo, I love somebody!"

Jane walks into the room and announces, "I got married." I logically ask, "To whom?" "To my prince." "What's his name?" "Prince Muptin. He's mine. He's my Prince Muptin and we got married."

"Oh, Mom. You're just a silly old man."

"Poop happens."

"Don't tickle me when I'm dying."

"Tell Sani-tize (Santa Claus) I don't want Christmas anymore. I just want to be sad. Take the tree down." This after I told her she couldn't have another cracker.

"Mom, I don't want to be the mother anymore. You do it." Ha. I thought I was...

"Grandma got hit by a reindeer. That's not very nice. The reindeer need to be more careful."

‎"Mom, your phone needs you."

"Mom, I sneezed. Bless me."

"It's not a choking hazard, Mom. It's just money."

First thing in the morning when I let Jane out of her bedroom--she shakes her head at me and says, "Oh, Mom. Your house is a mess. You need to wash your hair and get dressed and clean or no one will come over." Geez. Talk about rejection!

And my current favorite...

"Jane, can you be quiet for just a minute?"
"No. I like to talk too much."

Amen to that.

Now let's be honest...

I've got some dang cute kids.

My only problem? I don't love being a stay-at-home mom. I said this is one of my other five posts, but I want to repeat myself for the sake of making a request to all you other stay-at-home moms out there. How do you make it work? I know it's the right thing to do for our family--no questions there--I just don't really like it. Yet. Yet.

That's my one and only New Year's resolution: Figure out how to want to be a stay-at-home mom, since I'm doing it anyway. Any tips?