To Bid Farewell

I'm sitting in a dark hotel room, hoping that the brightness of my laptop screen won't wake up the girls. I have roughly one hour until our official plans begin, but I'm willing to sacrifice that if Jane and Megan will sleep a bit longer and be that much happier today.

All that is left is to load the truck. Then we're gone.

I'm excited for something to be happening, finally. For months and months we've talked about everything--we've talked about moving, we've talked about starting a new job, we've talked about going to grad school. Now we're actually going!

But we're leaving. We won't live in our house anymore. We don't live in our house anymore.

Our apartment is much smaller, but it's going to be fun. Jane is very excited to have the top bunk on the new bunk beds (new is a relative term--I grew up on those bunk beds, and so did my dad). It's going to be easy to keep it clean with the smaller space. It comes with a pool and a playground.

But we're leaving. I know where everything is that I care about in Salt Lake, and I have no problem navigating the roads to get to new places. I revel in knowing multiple routes to the same place and being able to give fabulous directions. Once we move, I won't know where anything is.

It'll be an adventure. It took me a long time to learn my way around Salt Lake valley, but it was fun. I now have many more chances to get lost in Albuquerque, and soon enough I'll be an expert there, too. I won't be held back by something as small as new roads.

But we're leaving. We'll have a new ward, with lots and lots of unfamiliar faces. New callings. Probably an invitation to speak.

We'll have a new ward. We've already met the Relief Society president, and Chris is good friends with her husband from all the way back in our Logan days. Being new in a ward is always fun, too--no one has heard my stories yet.

But we're leaving. Right before Christmas, too. No family Christmas parties. No random stops at Grandma's house for candy and happy meal toys. No driving to Grandpa's after opening presents on Christmas day.

It's our first Christmas on our own. This is our chance to set real Christmas traditions. We'll be closer as our little family of five than we've ever been before. Christmas will be a wonderful day for our family to simply be together, in a way we never have before.

But we're leaving. We're leaving our friends. We're leaving Jane's perfect preschool. We're leaving trips to Draper every other week. We're leaving Outlook and mentoring at Power of Choice. We're leaving going to Grandma and Grandpa's house whenever we want. We're leaving Amy.

It's a lot harder for me to countermand that one today.

I know that moving to Albuquerque is the right thing for our family to do. I know that now is the perfect time for us to go. I know that God has a good reason for all things, including having 40 showings of our house with no offers. I know that we are needed in Albuquerque--someone needs us for something, I just don't know what yet. I know that it will be a fun adventure, full of new friends and new excitements that we didn't even know we wanted.

I also know that it's hard to say goodbye.

An important part of saying goodbye is letting the emotion live. Burying it away only digs holes inside that are hard to fill later. So for now, here is a pictorial farewell. Crying or laughing, it's good to celebrate what we've had here.

Good times.