Week 2

Before

I was rather stressed last night. My house was a mess. I had wanted to come home early to clean, but I ended up staying late instead after 19 students failed a math test and I had to change my lesson plans. Jane is very much a 2-year-old, with all that that implies, so she didn't really let me get anything done in the evening, either.

After

Today, I opted to ditch on a meeting I was supposed to attend and go home instead. Laura Lee kept the girls at day care just a little bit longer than usual (thank you again!) and I was able to turn it all into this:

Much better.

Last week, I was worried about how things were going to go with Chris being gone. I spent a lot of time and energy finding the good things about the deal. All told, it was a good week, even if I wasn't excited for it.

This week, however, it's starting to sink in just a bit that we really are doing this and not just talking about it. Tannie asked which night is the hardest...with only two weeks to go on, I'd say Tuesday. Sunday and Monday seems like we just started, Wednesday seems like we're almost done. But Tuesday? It's been forever since Chris was home and it's still forever before he comes back.

The real kicker is going to school every day. If I were just home taking care of my house and kids, that would be one thing. But I still have to go to work for eight hours (or more) every day, too. School wears me out and takes a lot of brain capacity. It is nice to have something to occupy me during the day so I'm not just laying around wallowing in self pity, but it sure takes effort.

I keep thinking how much easier this would be if I could quit my job and stay home. Then I think that if I did quit my job, none of this would be happening. I would move to Salt Lake with Chris and we wouldn't have to do this. But then I tell myself to stop thinking that because it would be bad if I quit my job, for a lot of different reasons.

sigh.

The other thing that's bugging me a lot is my arm. Remember when I fell on the ice? And went to Instacare because I thought my right arm might be broken? Well, if I hadn't already had x-rays done, I'd probably get them now because it still hurts bad enough that it still feels like it could be broken. The problem is that I really can't let it rest and recover. There is too much I have to do myself that can't reasonably be done with one hand, and my left hand at that.

I have to teach. I write on the board often. When my arms hurts, I write with my left hand instead. My class has gotten quite a kick out of my terrible left-hand handwriting. It is improving, but I still can't manage the number 8 on my first try.

I have to write. Sure, I can fake it on the board. But on official paperwork, or anything I want to be able to read later, I need my right hand.

I have to be a mom. I can't pick up a baby with one hand. Or change diapers with one hand. Or do pretty much anything with Jane with one hand.

I have to open doors. This sounds dumb, but we have those doorknob covers that prevent Jane from opening the doors we don't want her to open. Those covers are on seven of the eleven doors in our house--I counted. It takes just enough twisting to get the door to open that it really tweaks my arm. Ouch.

So...my arm just isn't getting better. And I'm not doing much to help it. My one consideration would be to try a sling, but I go back and forth. On the one hand, it would be good because it would keep my arm more stable in general and it would also be a regular reminder to me to quit using my arm unless absolutely necessary. But on the other hand, there are all those things I really need two hands to do. I wouldn't be able to wear a sling at home at all, probably. I could at school, though, particularly with having a student teacher who is already taking over a lot of the classroom workload.

But...I'm allergic to everything. If I had a sling, I would have to always wear long sleeves and find something to wrap around the strap so it doesn't rub on my neck. I was talking to Chris and he had the idea of making a sling out of some old jeans we have lying around. Denim is cotton so I'm not allergic, and it would be strong enough to support my arm. I don't know how to sew, though, and even if I did I wouldn't know how to go about making something like that. If anyone out there is feeling crafty...

So, my arm hurts and I wish I didn't have to go to school. But I didn't have to cook dinner tonight.


And my kids are cute.

Life is still good.