Request Denied

I have tried several times now to write this post, and it just hasn't come out right. I think it's because it's not funny. I like my blogs to be funny. And this just isn't.

Friday was quite the busy day. I started the morning bright and early with an appointment at the chiropractor's--my eleventh appointment in a week's time. I had been going twice a day, every day all week, plus some. Between those appointments, I did several instances of the breech tilt, forward-leaning inversion, knee-high marches, and belly ice packs. All in a rather desperate attempt to get baby to roll over into the right position for a good labor and delivery.

So, you're caught up to Friday. Lots of work and stress and hope building up to this one appointment...

When I met with my doctor, she confirmed that the baby is still transverse. His head is firmly centered in the space between my ribs and hip on my right side. We discussed all the risks of a version--going into labor, water breaking, or major stress to the baby, all of which result in an emergency c-section. After all the work I had done up to this point, though, I felt it was the next logical step. If everything I had done on the natural side of the spectrum--least invasive as possible--had not worked, it seemed reasonable to take it to the next level and go for the version.

The version had been scheduled for later that afternoon, but my doctor was able to move it up. We had just enough time to pick up the girls from the babysitter (Thank you, Elizabeth!) and drop them off at my mom's house, then head back to the hospital. I checked in to Labor and Delivery. They said they would be awhile, so I hung out for a bit before they got me all hooked up to the IV and monitors.


We liked what the nurse wrote on the room's whiteboard:


Our request certainly was that the procedure would be successful!

And then...we waited. And waited. My doctor had moved my appointment up in hopes of getting me done before a surgery she was doing, but it didn't work out. So we waited. The downside to modern medicine, I guess.

A resident came in to explain the procedure (again) and have me sign a consent form. She kind of freaked me out--she kept saying that it was going to be quite painful and that a lot of women who do it need pain medication. I thought I would be fine, uncomfortable of course, but fine. I wish she could have toned it down a bit on the pain scale.

They gave me the medication to relax all the muscles, then they started pushing. The doctor and the resident were working together. Essentially, one of them would "pick up" the baby through my stomach and "hold" him while the other tried to push him in the desired direction.

Yes, it hurt. Not the end of the world, though. And it didn't last very long at all. But! I totally caved and got the pain medication. Why? The resident's fingernails were digging into my skin during the pushing. Really?? If you're doing something like a version, cut your nails!!

Ok, whining over. For the moment.

The medication was really trippy. You know that feeling like you're going to pass out? The room is kind of spinning and you can't fully focus your eyes? That's how it felt, but it was simultaneously messing with all my sense of perception because I was already laying down. Usually you can lay down and it goes away. That part wasn't fun, either.

They tried first to move him the short way--down to the right, where he only had about a ninety degree turn to make. He didn't budge. So, they tried the other direction. Even though it was farther around, there may have been something blocking him that preventing moving the other way.

Yeah. He didn't budge again.

I was initially surprised when they stopped then and said they were done. The doctor explained, though, that with all of that pushing and attempted manipulation, he hadn't moved AT ALL. His head was in exactly the same place. If he had moved a little in one direction or another, they would have kept going. But since he hadn't moved at all anywhere, they were pretty certain that it wasn't going to happen.

Like, ever.

Chris amended the whiteboard accordingly:


Considering all the work I have put in trying to get him to flip without success, and then having the version fail so completely, we (me, Chris, and the doctor) have very little confidence in the idea that he will flip himself over in order for us to have a regular delivery experience. That leaves us with a c-section.

I find myself quite conflicted here.

on the one hand: I don't want a c-section. I've heard they are much more painful to recover from. I know what a regular delivery is like, I know how my body handles it and recovers from it. I know what to expect. The idea of a c-section brings on quite the "fear of the unknown" feelings. I also am worried about a feeling of "missing out" on the birth of my child by not going through the whole labor and delivery process.

on the other hand: I have worked my tail off trying to get this baby to flip. Literally hours have been spent on just about every technique out there, aside perhaps from playing soothing hypnotic music into the uterus to encourage baby to move...but I had to draw the line somewhere. I feel like I really have tried everything within my power, from positions to chiropractic work to the version, and it hasn't worked. I don't want to keep my hopes up for something that seems so unlikely to happen. I would rather take this next week to relax and prepare and enjoy what I can of the end of pregnancy.

The c-section is scheduled for Tuesday, July 26.
No, I am not completely happy about it yet.
Yet.
But I am going to do it, and I think it is the best way to go at this point.
Any questions?

Eight more days.