My Aversion

I have an aversion to eating. I just can't/don't/won't eat anymore.

It's not a food aversion. Sure, there are some pretty standard things that I just won't eat when I'm pregnant, like chicken, but that's not really a problem. I just don't buy it and then it's not in the house to gross me out. I can deal with food aversions.

It's not a matter of cooking, either. In the beginning, I could eat just fine as long as the food was put in front of me. That's why our eating out bill always goes up during the first trimester. As long as someone else prepared it, I'm all set. That gets better, though, and I haven't really had a problem with cooking once I get into the second trimester. So it's not cooking.

It's eating. Putting food in my mouth, chewing, swallowing...I just don't want to. Ever. No matter what it is. I can cook to my heart's content. I just doesn't make it off my plate.

Take today for example. My two favorite meals of all time. Spaghetti for lunch. Hamburger steak and rice for dinner.

The spaghetti is in the fridge, completely untouched.

Dinner is still sitting here, despite the fact that everyone else is done and gone. Chris is out cleaning the garage while the girls play in the backyard. I'm still sitting at the table with a picked-at plate of rice next me. I didn't even attempt the hamburger or toast.

I'm not starving. I do manage to eat...enough to stay alive. I even have days when I actually eat complete meals more than once. Wow. But I do get pretty grumpy before that survival mode kicks in. I'm not very nice when I haven't eaten and the longer it takes me to eat the more not nice I get. Not fun...especially for my poor husband and daughters.

It just gets worse, too, the longer this pregnancy goes. The bigger this kid gets, the more he wants to eat. Go figure. That basically translates to me getting grumpier faster...

I don't have any fall-back foods, either. My previous fall-back foods have all failed me. Cold cereal goes soggy before I can get to it. Ketchup is not my friend. Tortillas have actually managed to go moldy in the fridge.

Hmmm.