Things I Never Said as a Teacher

I post a lot of funny things that Jane says throughout our days at home. It only recently occurred to me that there are quite a few things I say that, taken out of context, are just as amusing...

You can't go outside until you put your pants back on.

If it's too scary, go hide under your blanket.

Take your underwear out of your purse.

If you do that one more time, I'll take away your crown.

Don't eat your hairbrush.

I'm sorry you threw your food on the floor. Now pick it up and finish your lunch.

Don't touch your sister's poop.

These are definitely things I never, ever would have said to my fifth graders, illustrating the sharp contrast between what I did a year ago and what I'm doing now. While I'm sure there are certain phrases I'd rather not have to deal with (like anything involving "poop"), there are things I have ample opportunity to say that I didn't say so much before...and these ones are good.

How about we go get pizza?

Time for a nap!

I don't want to clean right now. Let's watch a movie.

Yes, I will dance with you.

I love you, too.