Psycho Prego

I have weird dreams.

Always have had. It used to be a favorite past-time of my high school journalism class to try to interpret the deeper meanings of Laura's latest dreamland adventure. Though making up for infrequency with grand detail, they did only come every couple of weeks.

Until now.

You know how pregnant women are notorious for forgetting all kinds of things? Like your brain just isn't quite all there during those nine months? Chris says that my brain has no space for anything useful while I'm pregnant because it's completely full of the useLESS details of every night's full-blown dream saga. I tell you, if I was a producer, some of these would have serious movie potential.

Now that I've set myself up for such grand storytelling, I'm not actually going to share the true detail of my dreams. That would take me hours. Just ask Chris--he has to hear most of them, and I even hold back while I'm telling him. But, there is a certain interest factor to me to see the trend my dreams take and whether or not they seem related to each other, my life, or really anything logical in the waking world.


To name a few (emphasis on few):

I was kidnapped (by Pierce Brosnan) and was hauled around town through several towns. We stopped at some party when I saw my chance, and I ran. I ultimately escaped by hiding on an ostrich farm.

I was hired to work at Walmart. Annoyed with my trainer, I took off my shoe and threw it in her face.

My sister Amy changed her phone number and told everyone but me. That's significant because she has my old phone--her number was mine for quite a while before it was hers. And that's just rude.

I was being chased by unknown bad guys through a multi-story toy store. I hid behind various displays, but every time they found me and I had to run again. I've never seen a toy store with so many staircases that went nowhere.

I was witness to two murders. When I went to my mom in a panic to ask her for help, she responded that she knew exactly what to do. We went into the murderer's house and proceeded to steal all of the small kitchen appliances.

Chris was attempting to rescue me from the latest chasers when his car was deemed unworthy. They laid a trap...he drove over a net of orange extension cords and they just picked his car up so he couldn't drive anymore. That's what you get, apparently, for driving a Geo Metro.

I was being chased (again) through a restaurant. I somehow gained super-human strength and managed to pick up and throw every chaser off the balcony. Talk about muscles.


Oh, geez. Who dreams like that?

The biggest thing I've noticed in my dreams is that I never have kids...and I get chased a lot. I have also noticed the smells. Can you smell in your dreams? For example, the grass outside the Walmart where I temporarily worked had the most delightful freshly-cut aroma that was quite refreshing when everything was actually covered in half a foot of snow. Also, that murderer? Oh. My. Goodness. If only I could eat the spaghetti cooking at his house. Ah. All my pregnancy cravings would be permanently satisfied.

What are your dreams like?