For the Grandparents

One year ago today...

Jane broke her leg.

She fell off our bed, all two and a half feet, if that. I had my back turned when it happened, so all I actually knew was the thump and the scream. It was not uncommon for Jane to fall, but she was never really bothered by it. She might whine for a second, but she generally recovered quickly and moved on with very little comforting. This time was different. She just kept crying and crying. She eventually calmed down after tylenol and extensive cuddling with Mom.

She wouldn't crawl. As soon as she put any weight on her left leg, she would immediately collapse on the floor and cry again. I thought she had twisted her ankle or something and figured it would probably work itself out after a few hours. I may sound like a bad parent, but I still took her to day care and headed off to school.

Luckily, I only had two and a half hours of school that day due to parent teacher conferences the next day. That was lucky because the day care lady called me after about an hour and said she really thought something was wrong and I should probably take Jane to the doctor. Because I had less than an hour of school left at that point, the principal came to watch my class while I left so I didn't have to find a substitute with such awkward timing.

I told the doctor my theory that Jane had hurt her ankle. She was drinking a bottle while he was checking her, and she only slightly winced when he moved her foot and felt her ankle. He was explaining that it would be better to wait until it swelled up and then back down before doing x-rays, since that made it easier for any possible fractures to appear. It wasn't swollen at all.

Well, he changed his mind when he touched her shin...the bottle immediately popped out of her mouth and she SCREAMED louder than she had all morning. His comment was, "Never mind. We'll x-ray her now."

Her tibia was snapped almost completely in half.


She had the orange cast, from foot to hip, for three weeks. It was then replaced with a smaller green cast that ended just below her knee.

That was taken off on December 8, but only after my entire class had signed it, of course, and all the kids at day care.


An unfortunate side story: Jane received a second degree burn on her leg when they removed the cast. The girl who removed the cast had never done it before--can I just say that you shouldn't practice on small children!!--and went really slow in hopes of somehow making it a better experience. Two problems: 1--Jane had grown in the time that the cast was on, meaning the cast was very tight and very close to her skin. 2--By going slower, there was more time for friction to build up heat. Because the blade was going for so long and the skin was so close to the cast, Jane ended up with a four-inch blister down the side of her leg. The blade itself didn't hurt her, just the friction of cutting the cast. That was sad.

I tell this story mostly for Jane's sake, so she can go back and read it later and know what happened when she was too little to understand what was going on. But now all you know, too.

The Four-Eyed Club

I first knew I needed glasses in second grade. At the beginning of the school year, the entire student population tromped down to the dimly lit basement for the annual vision screening. We lined up at one end of the room. On the far side was a nice mom sitting next to a line of letters being projected onto the wall. Each child was to read the line of letters to another nice mom waiting with a clipboard and pencil to record our success (or lack thereof).

It didn't take me long to figure out that I could not even begin to read the letters on the far wall. I knew where they were, thanks to the lighting. But beyond that, I could only see a slightly darker area in the middle of the lighted space.

It also didn't take me long, however, to figure out that every person in front of me was saying the same set of letters. The list never changed. So I listened carefully to my classmates...and memorized the letters. When it was my turn, I rattled them off just like everyone else. I received a nice smile from the nice mom, and headed back to class with no red mark by my name.

And that's how I cheated on the eye exam when I was seven years old.

My mom first knew I needed glasses about a year later. I was sitting at the dining room table when she asked me what time it was. The nearest clock was on the microwave in the kitchen. No way could I read that. Sigh. Mom found me out I couldn't see and took me to the eye doctor.

A boy in my class had gotten glasses maybe a month or so before this. When he first wore them to school, my teacher made a big deal about him joining the Four-Eyed Club. I decided it would be okay for me to get glasses because then I would get to be a member of the four-eyed club, too.

I went to my appointment, selected my frames, waited seemingly forever for the glasses to come, then excitedly wore them to school. And no one said anything. No question. No comment. And, tragically, no four-eyed club. So I never wore them to school again.

Until sixth grade. In March of 1997, my family moved from Logan to Marysville, WA. My mom pointed out that no one in Washington knew me yet, so I could wear my glasses and no one would think it was weird that I suddenly had glasses. I was old enough (11) to see the logic in this, so I determined that would in fact become a full-blown glasses-wearer. I had the glasses all ready to go on the bathroom counter so I wouldn't forget them on my first day of school in Washington.

I forgot them.

My homeroom teacher asked a girl in my class to show me around during the day so I would know where everything was. I don't remember much about her, but I'm sure she thought I was a little weird. Because on the second day of school, I did wear my glasses. She asked if I had been wearing them the day before. I said, "Yes, of course! I always wear my glasses."

And there you have it--I was a liar and a cheat in elementary school.

On the upside, I have faithfully worn my glasses ever since that second day in my new school. I think I actually had that same pair of glasses all the way until high school.

My current pair of glasses was purchased in 2004. My old glasses had broken--the frame snapped right in the middle above the left lens. I spent almost $400 at Standard Optical in Logan to buy a new pair. Then I drove to Salt Lake (if I didn't move my head, I could balance the lens on the broken frame so I could see to drive) because I couldn't read to do my work. My dad told me about a glasses repair shop. I paid $40 and they soldered the frame back together like they had never been broken.

Good thing I'd already spent $400.

Anyway. My $400 glasses have served me well for the last five years. During those five years, though, life has changed somewhat. Most notably in the fact that I am married and have two small children. And when you have two small children, your glasses might just end up looking how mine did a few days ago...














I took this picture with my cell phone and the lights were off...hopefully you can see either the dark one or the one with inverted colors...

I managed to gently bend them back into a mostly-wearable position. They sit kind of crooked on my face and one side rubs uncomfortably on my ear, but at least I can see.

And now to the point of my story:
I need new glasses.

My experience at Standard Optical was rather unpleasant. The entire visit was one giant sales pitch. I went in to buy glasses. That's all I wanted. The doctor spent the first half of the appointment trying to convince me to buy contacts--not interested. Once I had finally gotten that point across, he spent the rest of the appointment trying to convince me to pay for LASIK--again, not interested. Actually, that was kind of a weird suggestion from him. He wouldn't have done the LASIK, so he wouldn't have earned any money from me for that anyway. And, I can't/shouldn't get LASIK (if I ever do) until I'm done having kids--did you know that eyesight commonly changes during pregnancy?

Besides the sales pitches from the doctor himself, the assistant fitting me for frames asked if I wanted a credit card. Who goes to buy glasses and gets a credit card, too!?

I don't want to go to Standard Optical again. They do make quality glasses, but the experience was annoying enough that I would rather not go there again. And they are kind of expensive. We don't have any vision insurance, so I will have to pay the entire cost out of pocket. I'm willing to go down to Salt Lake to find a cheaper place that will sell me good glasses...and nothing else.

Any suggestions on where to buy glasses?

Brenda wins!

1. Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to. Monsters, Inc.

2. How am I supposed to beat him? I can't even beat you to the stairs! Kung Fu Panda

3. Hello, Bruce. Finding Nemo

4. After all, I am your biggest fan. The Incredibles

5. Somebody's got to nail that girl's fins to the floor. The Little Mermaid

6. Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We got a big order to fill. Shrek 2

7. This entire jungle is a house of death! Horton Hears a Who

8. Tractors is so dumb. Cars

9. You poor simple fools. Thinking you could defeat me, me! The Mistress of All Evil! Well, here's your precious princess! Sleeping Beauty

10. All this for a loaf of bread? Aladdin

just for fun

I've seen a lot of people do this already, but Megan's such a natural-born dancer, I just couldn't resist following the crowd...

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Confession

We watch TV. That's about all we do when I'm home from school. If I wasn't working at all, I would be much more concerned about making a regular daily routine, making sure we got out of the house regularly, had learning time and play time, got together with other kids for Jane to play with...but since I only have one month (two weeks, now) at home, it just doesn't seem worth the effort of making a routine just to disrupt it and start all over when I go back to school.

So, we watch TV. And movies. Can you name the top ten movies we watch (repeatedly) from these lines?


1. Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.

2. How am I supposed to beat him? I can't even beat you to the stairs!

3. Hello, Bruce.

4. After all, I am your biggest fan.

5. Somebody's got to nail that girl's fins to the floor.

6. Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We got a big order to fill.

7. This entire jungle is a house of death!

8. Tractors is so dumb.

9. You poor simple fools. Thinking you could defeat me, me! The Mistress of All Evil! Well, here's your precious princess!

10. All this for a loaf of bread?

Duck, anyone?

Life at our house is pretty mellow right now--newborn and all. Translation: I don't have much to post about, hence the nothing posted for the last week. But I have a few pictures on the camera...


I've been kind of bored in the last week or so (are we surprised?). Chris treated us all to a nice family walk so we could get out of the house for a bit. We also bought a new double stroller a while back (Baby Trend sit and stand, if you're curious) that we wanted to try out.


To keep the walk interesting, we took some old bread--stale with just a hint of mold, just how the ducks like it--and headed to the bridge over the river to feed the ducks. Well, duck.


There were a handful of ducks way out on the other end of the pond area, but for a long time, only the one came over.


Finally, another one joined in for more almost-moldy fun. I was glad. No one had to be lonely then.

Jane never held still long enough for me to get a nice picture of her face. They call came out blurry or faceless. Or both.


Megan was, obviously, the most entertaining thing of the entire trip...ok, not really. She slept.

At least the stroller worked well.

Again because I was tired of sitting in the house all day, we made a spur of the moment trip to Salt Lake. Chris didn't fix any cars--shocking, I know--but he did work on Deborah's computer.


He had to take pictures, and a video, just to read what the screen said. It all flashed by too quickly.

And that's the only picture I have of our adventure down south.

After church today, we all fell asleep. All four of us. All on one couch. Sigh. It might have been cute if someone were to see us all, but it certainly wasn't comfortable.


In the end, Chris won out. He got to stay asleep on the couch while us girls decided to play with the camera instead.


Jane's attempt at photography. Nice subject selection, good placement, favorable lighting...


Jane's latest trick: falling over on purpose.


Megan's latest trick: keeping her eyes open for more than twenty minutes.

And she's pretty darn cute while she does it.

P.S. There is hope in the Wampler Automotive Department! Chris removed the lock core from the driver's side door of the Mountaineer and took it to Beazer Lock and Key. They were able to fix it quickly and inexpensively. SO: I can unlock the driver's door to disengage the alarm. That is immensely preferable to going around and unlocking the passenger side door and going back around again. I can also turn the key twice to unlock the rest of the doors on the car. It makes life much simpler with trying to get two kids into the car.

...maybe there's hope yet.

P.P.S. Yay for bleach! Remember a while back when I mentioned that my shirt was massively splattered by chili? After a few washings with laundry detergent and bleach without success, Chris got smarter and soaked the shirt in bleach water for almost an entire day.

And now the shirt is whiter than it's ever been.